Before I describe the Desolation of Clif, I need to provide a bit of backstory for readers.
Item one: crappy siding
Our house was built in 1969, and in an extreme effort to pinch a nickel until the buffalo screamed, the builders put a kind of paper/cardboard siding on our home. (We, of course, did not buy the home in 1969. I was twelve, and my husband was eighteen. We came together in 1977 and bought the house in 1984.)
Considering the siding’s material, it held up reasonably well for quite a while. But about ten years ago, it started peeling and rotting. Because we are a family of modest means, new siding for the whole house was not within our budget. So Clif, being handy, removed the worst of the old siding, replaced it with sturdier material, and painted it to match the original siding. All around the house, he has worked with little trouble until he came to the front.
Item two: yew hedges
In the U.S. in the 1970s, it was all the rage to put yew hedges along the front of the house, and so it is with our home on the edge of the woods. American readers of a certain age will know just what I mean. While it might be fair to describe the hedges as “common,” it also must be pointed out that the hedges are as tough as a bag of hammers. Over the years, those hedges grew until there was the narrowest of passages between house and hedge.
Here’s a picture of our home with the yew hedges in all their glory.
Now we come to the crux of the matter. The front of the house needs to be patched and painted. Clif maintained he could not work with those hedges so close to the house. While I’m not a huge fan of the hedges, I built my gardens around them, and they provide the backdrop. Not the smartest move, perhaps, but we really couldn’t afford to have a landscaper come in and make everything right.
Clif, though, was undeterred. He had a chainsaw. He said he could take the hedges down all by himself and thus work on the house. I didn’t doubt this, but I knew what the front garden would look like if he hacked the hedges down.
I was not wrong.
The Desolution of Clif
The first time I saw the damage, I could hardly breathe. It looked as though all the back teeth of the garden had been knocked out, and the bed is twice as large as it was before the hedges were cruelly taken down. Now, this bed is a problem bed, and I have lost many plants that were put in with the naive optimism of a new gardener. What the heck was I going to do with more space?
I might have snarkily obeserved commented that it is easier to destroy than it is to create. Clif made no reply. I might have made some other rude observations. In the end, I calmed down and considered what I could do next spring to repair the damage.
Clif’s suggestion: Put in some ferns and let them fill in the way they have out back.
Not the worst idea.
I love ferns. They are low-maintenance and elegant. But do I really want that bed to be half ferns? I’m not sure.
Then I had another idea. When I dug up the lawn, all those years ago, to make a bed, I did it with the sublime ignorance of the novice gardener. I didn’t consider how hard it would be to work in such a big bed, how I would have to trample the dirt to add plants, compost, and fertilizer. Instead, what if we, Clif, removed all the plants, put in walkways, added a nice but not hugely expensive focal point, and replanted what had been removed: black-eyed Susans, phlox, evening primroses? Maybe add something else that I haven’t thought of.
Clif wisely did not object to this scheme.
So, readers who garden, I turn this over to you.
Any suggestions?
















































