Food writing at the New York Times has taken some serious hits in the past month or so. First, it was Mark Bittman’s Minimalist columns, which had become my go-to source for food that was not fussy, not expensive, and yet delicious. Bittman, unlike other more demanding food writers and cooks, seemed to understand that even though life is busy, average people still deserved to eat food that was simple, good, and nutritious. Fortunately, Bittman is still writing for the New York Times, but instead of being featured in the Food section, he will be in the Op-Ed section, where he can focus on the various political issues that surround food. And, as a consolation to his fans, once a month he will write for the New York Times magazine, and I understand there will be recipes.
No sooner had I adjusted to life without the Minimalist, then I received a second punch: Pete Wells, who is the Dining editor at the New York Times, will no longer be writing Cooking with Dexter, an absolutely charming but snappy column about a dad cooking with his young son. Pete Wells is such a good writer that I would read most anything that he wrote, even if it was about baseball. (Well, maybe not about baseball, but you get the point.) His writing was funny and vivid and precise and warm, and he always had something to say.
His reasons for discontinuing the column should be of interest to everyone who cares about good food and nutrition in America as well as our society at large. Wells maintains that his job is so demanding that he feels he no longer has the time to cook with Dexter (as well as his younger son, Elliot, who is now on the scene.) Some nights, Wells explains, he gets home so late that all he has time to do is kiss the children after they’ve brushed their teeth. Fortunately, Wells’s wife works at home, which means her schedule is more flexible, and their children do indeed get nourishing, home-cooked meals, albeit not cooked by dad.
Wells almost sheepishly hastens to assure his readers that he knows he is lucky. He has a career rather than “just a job,” and that career is an interesting one that pays well. But unlike “the old days” when his own father worked, Wells is not home by 5:00 P.M., and this takes a toll on the time he spends with his family. Not only does Wells get home late, but because of technology, he is always connected to his job and therefore feels compelled to work even when he is at home.
If this is how a man feels about a job that many would consider a “dream” job, it’s not hard to imagine how workers must feel about jobs that aren’t quite as engaging. No wonder so many Americans are stressed and discontent. Then, of course, there are the people who don’t have jobs at all, who ironically might have time to cook but are on such a tight budget—perhaps even on food stamps—that all the joy is gone. Is it any surprise, then, that movements such as the Tea Party, with their tough talk and facile solutions, have gained such momentum and appeal? Right now, too many Americans are afraid, frazzled, and adrift—overworked or underworked—and definitely overconnected. (And, yes, I do make a distinction be “connected” and “overconnected.”)
In his last Cooking with Dexter column, Wells grapples with solutions “to get people cooking again.” He would be in favor of “a federal law that requires everybody to leave work at 5, as my father did. I’d vote for that. But then because somebody has to put dinner on the table by 5:30 or 6, you’d need another law that would prohibit more than one parent per family from working full time. I wouldn’t vote for that, even if it did get Americans back in the kitchen.” He also makes the case for good, nutritious premade food—fresh, frozen, processed—that can fill in when schedules are just too crazy for home cooking.
This is a big subject and one very close to my heart. I could probably write two or three posts about this, but for this particular one, I want to share some brief thoughts about Wells’s aversion for “a law that would prohibit more than one parent per family from working full time.”
Wells, of course, is right. Nobody wants to be told she must stay at home, whether it’s part time or full time. We’ve been there before, and it caused plenty of neuroses and frustration and anxiety. Some people, women as well as men, have a great desire to work outside the home. They might want to be a teacher or an engineer or a plumber or an editor or a librarian or a social worker. As long as the job fits the “right livelihood” category, there is nothing wrong with wanting to work outside the home full time. In fact, there is something very right about it. After all, there is work in this world that must be done.
And then there are the people who just get plain antsy staying at home. Let them go out and work full time, too.
But what has happened, following the usual laws of backlash, is that we now have a society that encourages nobody to stay at home, and as often is the case with backlash, the cure is as bad as the disease. Homes in neighborhood after neighborhood are empty and lonely during the day. People—like Wells—rush from work to home, and they feel as though they never have a spare moment to rest or create.
But what choice do most people have? The costs of housing, fuel, higher education, health care, and transportation have become so great that it’s extremely difficult for households to flourish on one income. And while not all people might like to stay home, I expect many would, if given the chance, so that they could raise their children, cook, grow gardens, knit, play the piano, paint, have a part-time business, volunteer in their communities. Well, you get the point.
While we certainly don’t want to require anyone to stay home, we could arrange things that would make it possible for those who want to do so, for both men and women. Universal health care would be a good place to start because without health care, you can’t be free, and private insurance is very expensive, indeed out of reach for many families. (My husband and I know this first hand from running our own business.) From there, on we could go to public transportation, even in rural states like Maine, so that families could get by with one or perhaps even no cars. Then, to affordable universities.
Yes, we would all have to pitch in together to make these things possible, but who knows where this might lead? People might even feel as though they have time to cook with their children again.