Books, Food

In Which We Rally from a Disappointment, and I Review Margaret Drabble’s The Millstone

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Last weekend, our daughter Shannon, her husband Mike, and their dog Holly were supposed to come to our home for the weekend—they live in the Boston area—to celebrate my birthday (September 15) and Clif’s birthday (September 27). Alas, they were having car troubles and couldn’t come.

Disappointing not to have them join us, that’s for sure. Because Shannon and Mike aren’t sure when their car troubles will be resolved, our eldest daughter Dee, who lives with us, decided to carry on with the birthday celebrations. She treated us to Chinese food at the utterly delightful Wei Li in Auburn.

Oh my, the food was good. I could have some of their delicious lo mein and general tofu right now.

Comfortably full, we headed back home for drinks on the patio in the screen house, cake and ice cream, and presents.

Among other things, Dee bought us solar lights for the backyard. Now that we have passed the autumnal equinox, it is dark by 7:00, and it’s a little tricky making our way to the front steps.

Not only do those solar lights have a magical glow, but they also give us enough light for navigation.

This upcoming weekend is Clif’s actual birthday, and there just might be some more simple pleasures planned. (Simple pleasures are Clif’s and my birthday presents to each other. )

More to look forward to.

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Reading: The Millstone by Margaret Drabble

I have a fondness for mid-twentieth century women writers, especially ones who come from the United Kingdom. When I was in my 30s, I started with Rumer Godden, went on to read Barbara Pym, and have continued on with other terrific writers who, with precision and heart, have chronicled the changing roles of women in the twentieth century. And my goodness, there have been changes, mostly for the best.

To my delight, I have found a blog—JacquiWine’s Journal––that often features reviews of women writers from that period, and I have gotten many recommendations from Jacqui.

One of them was the wonderful novel The Millstone by Margaret Drabble. (The link above is to Jacqui’s review of the book.) Set in in the 1960s, The Millstone centers on Rosamund Stacey, a young woman living in London in her parent’s fashionable apartment in Marylebone. Her parents, do-gooders of the highest order, are in Africa trying to do good, which means that Rosamund has a free place to live as she finishes her thesis, not a bad situation for a young woman in the swinging 60s.

The only problem is that Rosamund is so shy and reticent that she has a hard time swinging. She goes out with a couple of men, but doesn’t have sex with either of them, and they, in turn, think she is having sex with the other man.

But then she meets George, whom she thinks could be gay. (Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t.  In the case of George, Rosamund might not be a reliable narrator.) They make love once and seem to have real affection for each other, but George, as shy and reticent as Rosamund, is no more able to express himself than she is.

From that one encounter, Rosamund becomes pregnant and after considering abortion, illegal at that time, she decides to keep the baby. Being middle class and college educated, Rosamund feels that she can make it on her own, and although she longs for George, she doesn’t tell him about the pregnancy.

As it turns out, Rosamund can make it on her own. She has the baby, a girl she names Octavia, after the social reformer Octavia Hill. As soon as Rosamund sees Octavia, she falls totally in love with her infant daughter. (I remember feeling the same way when I first looked at my babies.) I found this expression of maternal love to be so moving, and Drabble’s writing, understated but warm, never veers into sentimentality.

This slim novel packs in so much: class, the changing mores of the 1960s, the bond between mother and child, a young woman’s journey into adulthood, and the United Kingdom’s National Health Service, still relatively new when the book was written.

Will Rosamund and George ever get together? No spoilers here.  You must read this fine book for yourself to find out.

67 thoughts on “In Which We Rally from a Disappointment, and I Review Margaret Drabble’s The Millstone”

  2. Chinese food for your birthday bash? Sounds wonderful! And I love your solar lights, too — what a practical gift from your daughter! It’s unfortunate that car troubles prevented your visitors, but I’m sure they were with you in spirit, right?!

  3. So glad you were able to enjoy your birthday, even amid the disappointment. Car troubles are the pits.

    Love the new solar lights! Pretty and practical.

    Your book review was wonderful. Makes me want to read it right away.

  6. So sorry to hear Shannon and Mike couldn’t be there Laurie. It looks as if you had a wonderful celebration though and those solar lanterns are beautiful! 💛 xxx

  7. Sorry to hear about Shannon and Mike’s car troubles. I understand. My truck battery died on Friday, and I had to trickle charge it for two days, and now our car has an issue so we have an appointment to take it in. Not fun. I love solar lights. We have quite a few of various types. I am expecting an Amazon delivery today of replacement batteries for several. They do help with the early darkness. Hope you have as much fun and good food next weekend too.

  8. Your birthday meal looks delicious, and am sure the solar lanterns will make a huge difference.

    I have heard that Margaret Drabble as a serial on BBC radio many many years ago now. Did you ever any Barbara Comyns? BTW – I have just finished a biography of Barbara Pym you might enjoy by Paula Byrne.

    1. The food was so good. Wei Li has become my favorite restaurant.

      Yes, I have read several of Barbara Comyns’s books and like her very much. A unique writer who really stands out.

  9. You and your family are great at celebrating! Love the solar lights. I hope Shanon and Mike can make the trip soon. Thanks for the book review. We lived under NHS when I was a child, and my mother had a hard time adjusting to paying doctor bills when we came to the U.S. (As many people here still do!)

    1. Thanks so much! We are a family that believes in celebrating early and celebrating often. 😉

      I am sure it was difficult for your mother to adjust to doctor bills. As it is for so many people. Sigh.

  10. Hope M & S find an easy fix to their car issues, a disappointing glitch all around.

    Chinese food sounds so yummy right now (I must be hungry!), so yay for Dee for rescuing the day.

    I’m also fond of writers from our mother’s day, I find many contemporary novels lacking. I must look up your recommendations!

    1. Oh, how I love Chinese food! I think authors from our mothers’ day were writing at an interesting time, a time of real change for women. Not so long ago, really, and I find it fascinating to see where we were and where we are now.

  13. Happy belated birthday Laurie and so sorry your daughter and son-in-law couldn’t make it. Hopefully you’ll see them soon, and how lovely of Dee to make it a lovely birthday for you both.

  14. Awwww, now I’m going to have to go get that book!

    When your daughter’s car troubles are figured out I’m sure they’ll be up and then you can do a birthday dinner again!

  18. Solar lights are such a marvelous addition to landscapes and even urban environments. Yours are especially pretty — such a nice and thoughtful gift!

  19. Happy Birthday! I’m going to put that book on my list. The falling in love with an infant/maternal love is so powerful and universal. it’s wild to see it happening in real time with my daughter.

    1. Oh, I am sure! Must be so beautiful to see your daughter falling in love with her baby. In literary fiction, it is never a given that a mother will fall in love with her baby. So I wasn’t sure how it would work out in The Millstone.

  20. Happy birthday Laurie and Clif! May the simple and fun celebrations continue. I love the magical solar lights that will make night time walking more safe.

    Thank you for the book review. I always enjoyed reading Rumor Godden

    1. I have been thinking of you! So wonderful to hear from you. Yes, those lights will make walking more safe. And they are so pretty twinkling in the dark. Rumor Godden is still one of my favorites.

  21. Thank you for the excellent book review. I am sorry you didn’t have the anticipated family gathering after all – take it as a postponement of the celebrations.

  22. The Birthday celebration looks wonderful. I’m so sorry that all of your family couldn’t be there. I searched for books by Margaret Drabble through my Libby app and unfortunately they have none. I will have to check at the library and Amazon. Happy Birthday to you and your hubby. Sounds like a great reason to celebrate all month.

    1. Hope you are able to find Drabble through your library. September is quite the month of celebrations for us. Disappointing that Shannon and Mike couldn’t join us, but we will see them as soon as their car is fixed.

  24. I hope Shannon and Mike can visit soon to continue the wonderful birthday celebrations!! The Chinese food looks absolutely delicious and I love solar lights, especially the beautiful one from Dee! I would love to have that for my yard. I’m going to check out all the authors you mentioned. Happy Birthday to both of you and love the wonderful gifts of simple pleasures!!🙂

  25. Happy Birthday both of you. Love the lights, and the Chinese food. Cars are like that, but it will be fixed and you will be able to put the disappointment behind you. 🙂

  26. Thanks so much for linking to my blog, Laurie, that’s so kind of you, and it’s lovely to read your thoughts about The Millstone here. As we’ve already discussed various aspects of the book, I’ll try not to go over old ground covered elsewhere, but your comments about reticence have reminded me that Rosmund was very shy with George, reluctant to express her feelings when they parted. (I’d been thinking about ‘reticence’ in relation to Rosamund not asking for help during the pregnancy and early months of motherhood, but I can see what you were getting at with your question now!)

    As you say, there’s so much in this novel. I think it’s a fascinating insight into various aspects of British society – especially for young women – in the 1960s! The NHS has come a long way since then, but we still hear about occasional instances of poor maternity care, or mothers’ concerns being ignored, sometimes with tragic consequences…

  28. A belated Happy Birthday Cliff. How hard for you all not to be together to celebrate but well done Dee for ensuring you had a good time. I love Chinese food but rarely get it – the local restaurants and takeaways only open in the evenings and if I get a takeaway the food is cold by the time I get home. So when I visit my daughter I always ask for a chinese meal during my stay. I like solar lights too and yours look great.

    1. Many thanks! Yes, so nice that Dee treated us to a meal. I love Chinese food, too. Sorry that your local restaurants are only open during the evenings. Fortunately, Wei Li is open for lunch as well as dinner.

  29. You guys know how to roll with the punches and make the best of every situation! I am so glad to hear the birthday celebrations continue!

  31. Laurie, I’m sorry Shannon and family were unable to make it to your celebrations. I’m sure everyone hoped it would work out. Fingers crossed that hey get their car troubles worked out before the winter weather descends.

    Dee’s solar light gifts are a delight. The one that rests on what looks like a filigree moon is the prettiest one I’ve seen. I imagine living near the woods casts you in near-total darkness once the sun is down. Dee is a generous and thoughtful gift-giver.

    1. Yes, disappointing, but that’s the way it goes sometime. They are planning on getting the car fixed before winter.

      Yes, very dark when the sun goes down as there are no street lights on our road. Dee is indeed thoughtful and generous.

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