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A Coastal Farewell to an Old Friend: Sherry Ballou Hanson, 1944–2022

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On a blue and dazzling Saturday, I drove to Bailey Island in Casco Bay to celebrate the life of a dear friend, Sherry Ballou Hanson. The celebration, hosted by Sherry’s family, was held at Cook’s Lobster & Ale House, one of Sherry’s favorite places.

To say Cook’s is a restaurant with a view doesn’t begin to describe its stunning location. This is a picture taken from inside Cook’s as I looked out the window.

And here is the view around the restaurant, situated on a spit of land surrounded by the ocean.

I met Sherry—a fine writer—thirty years ago when we both belonged to a group called Maine Media Women (MMW).  As the name suggests, MMW was an organization that promoted women in all aspects of the media, from those who wrote poetry to those who worked at television stations. Sherry and I served on the board together, and over the years, we became good friends.

About ten years ago, Sherry was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and she and her husband decided to move from the East Coast to the West Coast so that she could be closer to her family. But every summer, Sherry would come back to Maine, rent a cottage on Bailey Island, and host a gathering for her MMW friends. She was the glue that held us together, and we looked forward to these gatherings where she generously treated us to lobster rolls from her beloved Cook’s.

As I’m sure you all know, ovarian cancer is a hard one to beat, and last summer, Sherry died after fighting many battles with this terrible foe. (For various reasons, her family had to wait until this summer to host the East Coast celebration of Sherry’s life.)

We filled one half of a large room at Cook’s. Sherry’s son and daughter-in-law spoke movingly of Sherry and encouraged everyone to introduce themselves and talk about Sherry. What came through, with both family and friends, was how much Sherry was loved. There were tears, and some people had to stop, unable to continue their remembrances. For me, most moving was Sherry’s young teenage granddaughter, filled with love and grief for a grandmother who did puzzles with her and helped her look for agates. As the granddaughter cried, her brother—Sherry’s grandson—held her hand. After that, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the place. I know mine weren’t.

I was reminded yet again that to be mourned is to be loved, that grief is an honest, fitting expression of what we feel when someone we care about dies. Eventually, we dried our tears, ate our lunch, and went outside to listen to some of Sherry’s poetry set to music by her son.

As I looked at the deep blue sky and the sparkling water, I thought that this was a Sherry Hanson kind of day, absolutely perfect for a beach lover who collected sea glass and loved to go to places where dogs were allowed. A hard-working woman who disliked people that “were all talk.” Someone who valued cleanliness and order but who knew how to have a good time.

Sherry’s East Coast friends have decided to continue the tradition of meeting every summer, to gather and remember this special person who brought so much to our lives. While Sherry might be gone, she is certainly not forgotten.

 

 

 

63 thoughts on “A Coastal Farewell to an Old Friend: Sherry Ballou Hanson, 1944–2022”

  2. So sorry about the loss of your friend. Thank you for sharing the celebration of one so loved! What a beautiful view and future plans to continue celebrating your friend and each other!!!

  4. What a moving tribute Laurie, for a beautiful soul.
    Tears in my eyes. I’m so glad you will all still get together in her memory – sounds as if she would have loved that.

  11. Sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute to such a wonderful ‘giving’ person. I had tears in my eyes reading your post. It is so true, to be mourned is to be loved.
    I enjoyed reading her story. Best wishes.

  12. My condolences on the loss of a good friend, Laurie. Sherry sounds like a wonderful person. How special to get to remember her at one of her favorite places in such a lovely setting.

  14. “To be mourned is to be loved.” And how wonderful to say — on a beautiful day in a beautiful place with loving people loving each other — that it was a “Sherry Hanson kind of day.” I hope her generous life continues to inspire you.

  16. I am sorry for your loss and grateful for the loyalty your friend inspired in her friends. Meeting regularly to honor someone’s effect on lives makes the world a better place.

  19. This memorial was a splendid way to remember your friend. Even better are your plans to continue joining together; that will help to keep her memory alive, as well as the bonds you all share.

  22. I can only hope that when I am gone I am remembered as fondly! And what a fabulous place to hold a memorial for a very special person.

    1. Such a beautiful place for a special person. And I’ve no doubt you’ll be remembered as fondly. Your warmth and affection makes it all the way across the Atlantic.

      1. Thank you Laurie! I wasn’t fishing for a compliment but am happy to take one!

  23. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend and colleague, Laurie. Take comfort in the many wonderful memories you have of her. You and your group have honored her well.

  24. You’ve written a lovely tribute to your friends life. I’m sorry for your loss and for the loss of all who loved her. She sounds like someone I would have enjoyed as well. Thinking of you, Laurie.

  25. I’m sorry you lost a good friend, Laurie, but what a beautiful way to remember her. And I like the idea of y’all meeting every summer to preserve the memories!

  27. What a beautiful and touching tribute to your friend Sherri. “I was reminded yet again that to be mourned is to be loved, that grief is an honest, fitting expression of what we feel when someone we care about dies. ” I loved that thought, Laurie. Cooks looks like a lovely place to remember her. ❤

  28. I am deeply moved by your heart-warming tribute to a dear friend. “ … to be mourned is to be loved, that grief is an honest, fitting expression of what we feel when someone we care about dies” really got me. The last few months saw several friends pass on and while we were able to cry & laugh with their remaining loved ones, it is nevertheless an empty space that their departure leaves.

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